Tag Archives: Leadership

The Art of Asking Questions

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(This article was first published in the Critical Path, the monthly newsletter of PMI Sydney Chapter publish in July 2023)

If you’ve ever wanted to make an impact, win hearts, or persuade others to take action, then sharpening your skill of questioning is an absolute must. The way and type of questions you ask can truly captivate the minds and hearts of people, drawing them closer to your way of thinking. Project Managers as advocates and implementers of Change rely heavily on the power of questions to persuade their stakeholders and rally everyone towards the common goals of the project.

As the great philosopher Voltaire once said, “Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” Questions possess an inherent power that goes beyond their answers. When you pose a question to someone, they not only ponder the question itself but also reflect upon you, your style of inquiry, and their perception of the question’s purpose. The art of asking questions is a crucial skill that Project Managers, and indeed everyone else, should develop if they want to effectively sway people towards their vision.

Every individual holds unique values, fears, prejudices, and biases. They come from diverse cultural backgrounds and are motivated, inspired, and influenced by different things. To succeed in this complex landscape, it is essential to understand and embrace the intricacies and simplicities of the human experience. This can be achieved by truly listening and seeking to comprehend how someone arrived at their present standpoint. Once you grasp their perspective, you can meet them where they are, rather than where you desire them to be. It is from this starting point that your questions should emerge.

To truly master the art of asking questions, it is crucial to comprehend the various types and categories of questions, as well as to learn the appropriate manner and timing of posing them. Here are some ideas and strategies to help you prepare and ask engaging questions:

  1. Determine the purpose of your question: Are you seeking information from the person or attempting to elicit a reaction? Do you desire a decision, a fact, or an opinion?
  2. Know when to use leading questions and when to use non-leading questions:
    1. Non-leading questions aim to gather information, with the focus on the answer rather than the question. These questions help build rapport with people, as they allow them to express their viewpoints uninterrupted. However, be cautious, as non-leading questions can sometimes lead to a loss of control over the conversation. You may encounter someone who enthusiastically responds to your question and doesn’t want to stop.
    1. Leading questions, on the other hand, suggest a specific answer. These questions place the spotlight on the person asking the question, rather than the one answering it. The answer is often embedded within the question, and the respondent can either affirm or refute it. If you seek affirmation, be prepared with persuasive arguments to reaffirm the situation, or be open to changing your own opinion.
  3. Exercise caution with questions beginning with ‘Why’: Such questions can unintentionally come across as judgmental, regardless of your true intentions. Asking ‘why’ may erode trust and potentially lead to a loss of control over the conversation.
  4. Take the time to craft meaningful questions and listen attentively to the responses. This demonstrates your genuine desire to understand and learn at a profound level, fostering authenticity, rapport, and trust.

Asking questions creates buy-in, and buy-in produces results. The act of questioning empowers individuals. When you solicit people’s views and ideas, you send them a powerful message of belief in their abilities to contribute and effect change. By asking someone, “What could you do about this?” you are inspiring them to take ownership and leadership in the situation.

In essence, a powerful question is a catalyst for transformation. It has the capacity to ignite curiosity, spark reflective conversations, and surface underlying assumptions. It stimulates creativity, generates forward momentum, and focuses attention. Beyond its immediate impact, it touches upon a profound meaning, evoking emotions and inspiring individuals to delve deeper into their thoughts. As it unleashes a chain of further questions, it opens the door to exploration, growth, and new insights.

Furthermore, mastering the art of asking questions not only influences others but also transforms our own thinking. Often, we become trapped in our own perceptions of reality. Skillful questioning can pave the way for new awareness, insights, and perspectives. Our past experiences and beliefs about life, ourselves, others, and the world shape the boundaries of our creativity. A narrow self or world view limits our ability to envision new possibilities and generate innovative solutions. By asking questions, we can break free from our limited perception and explore new dimensions of thinking. But that’s a story for another article.

So, embrace the power of skillful questioning, and watch as the world opens up to you in ways you never thought possible.

References

Gowdy, Trey. Doesn’t Hurt to Ask, November 2020

Effective Advising in Statebuilding and Peacebuilding Contexts – How. The art of asking catalytic questions. 2015, Geneva, Interpeace-IPAT

Manage Stress with Resilience.

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(This article was first published in the Critical Path, the monthly newsletter of PMI Sydney Chapter publish in September 2023)

We are all facing increased challenges in today’s workplaces characterised by blurred boundaries, overload, complexity, and addiction to work. The unprecedented advances in technology that keep us connected 24/7, coupled with the widespread of remote and flexible working arrangements, have removed the demarcation lines between our work and non-work activities. This is leading to increased levels of stress and mental health issues. Much like the boiling frog syndrome, we fail to recognise the rise in stress until it is too late. 

I used to believe that stress is an inevitable part of life and little stress is good to maintain motivation and promote innovation.  However, I changed my mind when I recently came across the book “Work Without Stress” by Nick Petrie and Derek Roger.  The book challenges conventional notions of stress management and offers a fresh perspective on how to deal with stress through the lens of resilience.

The first step is to differentiate between pressure and stress. Pressure is described as the demand to perform, which is inherent in many aspects of daily life, and that’s good. However, stress only occurs when we add a critical ingredient to the ‘good pressure’: rumination about emotional upset. Stress, in this context, is a result of our habit of dwelling on negative emotions and potential worst-case scenarios.  In other words, pressure is good, while stress is bad.  When we label these accordingly, we can then cope effectively with the pressures of life and work.

Stress is our choice.  Stress is not an external force imposed by others but rather a product of our own reactions and rumination about life’s pressures. This shift in mindset from seeing stress as an external problem to recognising it as an internal response forms the foundation of the proposed approach to achieve resilience.

The book offers a fresh perspective on how to deal with stress through the lens of resilience. The central argument revolves around understanding the difference between pressure and stress, controlling attention, becoming detached, and letting go of negative emotions to develop a more resilient personality:

  1. Waking Up: This step encourages individuals to become more aware of their actions and thoughts, emphasising the importance of being present in the moment. It highlights how often people operate on autopilot, missing out on the here and now due to excessive planning and daydreaming.
  2. Controlling Attention: Attention is depicted as a powerful tool that individuals can consciously direct. By acknowledging and controlling their attention, individuals can avoid getting lost in rumination and emotional upset.
  3. Becoming Detached: Detachment is not about disengagement but about maintaining perspective. It helps prevent the escalation of minor issues into major sources of stress. Detached individuals avoid catastrophising and stay focused on practical solutions.
  4. Letting Go: Letting go of negative emotions is emphasised as a key component of resilience. It involves recognising that holding onto emotions like anger, fear, and guilt serves no productive purpose and only contributes to stress.

Project Managers have an important role of practicing and promoting resilience within their teams. It is crucial that they ask relevant questions to prevent rumination, differentiate between pressure and stress, and help themselves and their teams understand this distinction. Project Managers should facilitate a work environment that fosters open communication and encourages team members to express their emotions appropriately.  Project Managers have the responsibility to maintain a healthy working environment as much as they have the responsibility to deliver a successful project.